We're facebook friends in real life
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
