I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
