The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
