So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You were trust falling into bushes
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
