you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
