How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
