I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize