You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
