He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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