we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
