dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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