we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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