my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
