the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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