dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
