chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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