The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
