She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
