I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
