You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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