Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
