i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize