I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
