whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
