was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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