Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
