God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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