Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My vagina just clenched in fear
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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