dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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