DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
