I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
