btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well I just put wine in my tea
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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