look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
