It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
