We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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