you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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