Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
