Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize