god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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