she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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