how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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