I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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