Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I believe in your delicious
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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