4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
