I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
