Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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