Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
