alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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