no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
