Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
