Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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