i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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