Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
