I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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