SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
