Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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