god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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