piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize