Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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